I tried, I really did. But the dialogue is SOOOOOO BAD, I just can't.
Viewing post in Hero's Harem Guild (NSFW +18) comments
And for you as an author and developer:
Every story, every writer has their own tone! Yours just isn’t for everyone — that’s something you have to live with as a writer and developer. You can’t please everyone!
What’s far more important is that your narrative tone and your characters stay consistent. If they don’t, others will lose interest later on.
The opener is a bit unexpected given the game’s title, but apart from that, I don’t see any issues with the dialogues or other texts — I actually like them!
I think you’ve managed to capture that distinct anime-style tone quite well, especially in the later parts. You don’t take it too seriously; your story has a certain playful charm, occasionally touches on more serious tones — in a fitting flow — but you break it up (intentionally?) with humor, in a way that works really well in my opinion.
The erotic content is also very well integrated! It doesn’t feel flat or forced.
In the erotic scenes themselves, I feel there’s a bit of emotional depth or relational context missing between the MC and the other characters — but that’s honestly a difficult thing to achieve. Besides, your work isn’t really meant to focus on that aspect, and that’s perfectly fine!
Have a little more faith in your writing — I think you did a pretty good job!
BTW (while writing this comment):
I’ve reached the end of the prologue and I’m playing the current version (v0.1.2.3b). I write myself, and I can tell you: to me, it reads coherent and solid — both for what it presents and for what it aims to be!