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Then why does everyone say a trumpet is always an instrument, even when you're not trying to make it make music?

Because they are wrong. A trumpet isn't always an instrument, it's sometimes a  piece of decor and sometimes a tool of warfare.

What if you are wrong about everyone being wrong? It's totally impossible they are all wrong. Besides, even if they did, someone should've already disproven it by now, right?

I know I'm not wrong because I can use a trumpet as a paperweight instead of an instrument. That trumpet is not being instrumented, it is a mere paperweight.

You can use it as a paperweight AND an instrument, so it's still an instrument

Good point. What if, at all times, EVERYTHING is an instrument?

(+2)

you are an instrument

Correct! The voice IS an instrument and, as a nice little bonus, when I fall down the stairs I become a percussion instrument!