Love the concept, but you stated it to be absurd comedy, and I couldn't get the comedic tone out of the pitch. Maybe stay out of comedy, just do absurd and surreal, because the story is great, the corporate vibes and the Severance type of atmosphere are also working, but comedy is not present
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You are definitely right about the genre, I was unsure of where exactly I could put the story, surely it isn't a drama and I tought it could be seen as some kind of comedy. Probably the best thing there would something in the lines of "Social Commentary" or something like that.
I'm glad you liked the story tho.