I sure know what that feels like! I think we all feel that way sometimes, which is why a little grace and communication goes a long way.
And it sounds very possible that you've an unpleasant history with the OP that i'm not aware of (I'm very sorry for any nasty comments you may have recieved from anyone for any reason ever. There's no excuse for that), but what me and several other people were seeing was a bunch of very angry, accusatory sounding responses by other fans of your work targeting someone who just seemed confused and dissapointed, asking for the only clarification they knew of.
And that did not seem very fair or nice, so I thought it would be good idea to try and increase understanding and facilitate a less hostile conversation between everyone as I believe it to be born out of a perception gap.
So I'm glad we're able to have this conversation and want to thank you for having it. <3
There's room enough on the internet for both amare and otome fans, especially since there's a lot of overlap as you pointed out and should actually be allies. Even if I do respectfully disagree that Amare is women oriented anymore than reading itself is. 'Tis for everyone and I personally know of several men, women, and enbys who adore them.