Play Narrative Pitch
Blink's itch.io pageResults
| Criteria | Rank | Score* | Raw Score |
| Story / Plot | #8 | 3.130 | 3.500 |
| Dialogue / Writing Style | #12 | 1.565 | 1.750 |
| Characters / Voice | #12 | 1.789 | 2.000 |
| Overall | #12 | 2.162 | 2.417 |
Ranked from 4 ratings. Score is adjusted from raw score by the median number of ratings per game in the jam.
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Comments
I really love the concept and how easily you can immerse yourself in such a story. The premise works really great and the theme\character at spot on. It gives me a little bit of Lovecraftian horror notes through this entity monitoring your actions. Great job!
Really thoughtful story and character work here. I'm learning about writing in games and this has some really good examples of building out well rounded characters. I was challenged getting clear picture of some of the gameplay elements that a player would experience but on the whole this seems like a lot good ground work for your game. Nice job!
Simple and evocative! I'd be interested to learn more about the state of the protagonist at the start of the game; we know his journey and destination, but how does he demonstrate at the start that he does not accept inevitability, and how is that causing problems? I would also, personally, caution away from using the Stages of Grief as a framing device, as I find it to be overused pseudoscience. The core framing, though, of a road trip morphing into a descent into an eldritch entity, is fantastic. I'd be happy to see this continue to evolve.
Thank you for reading it, I wasn't sure someone would.
For the beginning of the story on how he does not accept inevitability, I was thinking of showing how this character is stuck in this old messy house, basically in a state of "not living" like an hikikomori; like this I would create a situation where not accepting inevitability means to stop living in a sense.
As for the stages of grief, I would use them only as a environment inspiration just to give some sort of theme for the various locations; I'm not really a fan of "spelling things out" to the player so probably I would keep the stage of grief for myself to evade the risk of being preachy.
I'm glad you liked the idea, I too think it would interesting to develop, especially the locations and gameplay