Hey Slug-fans, I'm the superheroine of your dreams - Sluggerina. All on account of my amazing powers to communicate with denizens of the deepest ocea- naw, that's a lie. I shoot slug slime at people.
Although, I wouldn't say no to dropping a whale on a supervillian or two.
I used to be on this team full of "winning personalities" cause I was disjointed from my own reality. I mean Ultra Maim Corps isn't all bad if you like big guns and women who can't walk on the heels of their feet. Tried it, not for me- my feet are too slick.
I guess fitting in didn't matter in the end because my teammate Blayde Belle ended up possessed by an evil entity named Paralyzer and killed everyone else on the team. How did I survive? Well it wasn't perseverance. I slipped out of there on my slug slime by mistake. The happiest accident my slick butt ever had!
I don't think Paralyzer was too happy about that because they ended up kidnapping my only friend in this grungy world - entomologist, Chuck LaRoach. Actually he does kind of get kidnapped like once a week so this wasn't too out of the ordinary - but Paralyzer was no villain du jour!
But I had ole-dark-and-deadly figured out. I had to save Chuck and I was gambling on a hunch- It couldn't have just been a lucky escape. My slime made me immune to the entity's powers! That's why it needed to get rid of me so badly. So I confronted that menace in Belle's body and shot one good glob of goo its way.
Really good news? I got the bad guy! With one hit! The bad news is Belle and Chuck were hit by my goo and sent...to who knows which dimension. And the powers-that-be blame ME for all the trouble Paralyzer caused! With no witnesses to back me up they exiled me from Earth! How's that for gratitude?!
Well the joke's on them, cause I joined up with a crew of interstellar freedom figh-- just kidding. I got sent to Mars and awakened an ancient evil Martian Deity -- NAMED PARALYZER!
So I kinda got to attend to that cause there's this whole civilization on Mars - yadda yadda. You know the drill. Later, Slug-fans!