(UUGHGHH I NEED TO FINISH ONESHOT)
this is really fun. It's very close to being totally viable. I'm excited to see what raina's route is like.
presentation wise I really like your aesthetics, its immersive and evocative. I do struggle with your font a bit. I think the problem I am having is with this font in combination with grammar decisions. You have very long pages of text and distinguishing the punctuation marks in this font is difficult. Because you are *also* using atypical grammar choices this starts to get just incredibly difficult to parse. One suggestion I will make is that maybe since your not using capitals to instead add an additional space between sentences so its a little easier to visually distinguish commas from periods.
"that, was weird. how should i proceed?"
vs
"that, was weird. how should i proceed?"
or something.
theme is evoked well within the presentation, I think some of your language choices could be fined tuned to make your theme even stronger.
I think the engagement is mechanically minimal but that's fine because the writing is interesting and unpredictable enough that I stayed engaged.
very cool and fun and awesome and i love being chronically ill and chronically online nothing bad happens ever :)