-viability; it's playable! i think it'd be a good idea to proofread your text since idk if this is your final version or just placeholder text But you have a typo in hot topic with hazbin hotel you say "deas" instead of "dead". i think it'd be a good idea to decide if you're using correct punctuation or grammar or intentionally not using it and be consistent with it :]
-presentation; i think it will be a lot more cohesive with images :3 i worry a bit about the scope for you since its kinda a lot of images But also i think you can reassess if needed.
-theme; the background color reminds me of your backpack. im excited for your images i think itll be really cute :3
-i think theres something you could add with either having a friendship bar or an inventory of the things you buy but also i understand if you dont want to overcomplicate it