And agreed, I never said they SHOULD have control what is and isn't "acceptable." I'm talking on self-policing and self-reflection, never once have I said that was the way to go.
And actually yes, it DOES matter your identity, because if you're cis than you can't relate to the LGBTQT+ experience and mostly see us as fetish objects, I'd wager. Though bet that 'isn't a big deal' in your opinion.