I really liked parts of this, I think you have a great sense for world-building and investing the player directly, rather than like lore entries and stuff like that.
With that said, I didn't enjoy the sections that felt like self-pity. Like, I've felt just like this but it isn't something I want to read. Reading the drafts on the shelf was more effective at establishing the mood than the whole arguing-with-yourself scene.
I don't mean to be down on it; honestly it came off as one of the stronger entries (at least, it's the kind of game I want to play more of) because the scenes are so interesting - not quite real, not quite imaginary, but nevertheless important to the player. Really hope it gets expanded.