alright so im writing this at like, 2 am because this vn ripped up basically every grave i had in my head and sent me into a nearly two day long bpd bender and im still kinda riding the mania, ive realized a whole lot of things, been slowly making my way through the rest of your stuff
im attempting to pick up the pieces of my mental landscape and put myself back together cause it wasnt just a few things this unburied like i thought, it cause more or less a ripple that has been smashing every wall i had in my head, and leading me to realize how much ive completely suppressed myself to please other people. and i do wanna say it wasnt entirely just this vn, but more that it was the last drop in the bucket before it tipped over
ive realized a lot about myself and can now firmly say that i will be myself for the first time when its done, its like... being reborn in a way, i was already almost there but this piece of art ripped me out of the womb a bit before i was ready so im stuck fixing shit until i am
i will have this as a marker in my transition as pre and post loner dog
i dont even know how to explain this to my therapist, i dont even know if i should try. i dont know if i could say shit without getting committed lol
sorry if this is rambly, like i said still kinda riding a mania high and it feels like im exhausted and wired at the same time but ill probably be back in a few weeks to put a more stable explanation here
see you then
-a muttbrained puppyfreak whos been unshackled for the first time and is full of rage at the world