Pretty weird, but there's a certain charm to this one! The whole layout made me laugh at first, but it did grow on me. I'll avoid giving feedback on the more obvious stuff and instead single out things that stuck out to me which I think most wouldn't consider.
When I did unlock combat and was battling enemies, it was a little confusing at first. The thing that threw me off was I was clearly attacking, but the enemy health wasn't depleting. It didn't take me long to realize it was because they had armor which needed to be destroyed first, but one way to avoid player confusion would be to put the enemy armor above the enemy health, since that's where the eyes will naturally look to see your attacks having an impact.
The scrolling chiron on the top is a great addition! That said, I didn't really notice it at first because the text is so small, it's easy to miss it at first. Perhaps a background banner underneath the scrolling lane could help it stick out for new players, if you don't want to enlarge the text. It's a great feature nonetheless. My favorite message was the one about consuming 3kg of lube. One small idea is that the one about tutorial messages going away after level 100 should itself go away after something like level 200 or 250. Also, special messages such as the one about unlocking the combo system could have a special text effect to help them stick out for people who might otherwise miss them.
I wasn't able to determine what you receive from winning battles, if anything, so that might be something worth communicating to the player. Also, all bosses were available to fight early (I only noticed this after meeting the requirements for the spider boss, so I'm not sure if they were all unlocked at the same time or if unlocking the spider boss unlocked all of them). The only reason I know this is unintentional is because hovering the cursor over their battle buttons shows the requirements to unlock them, which I haven't met. Finally, I couldn't figure out how the party system functioned. I added the first ally to an empty slot, but when in combat, it showed nothing under my team. Not sure if I'm doing this wrong or right.
Keep up the work and you will have a decent experience here eventually.