Hey mate.
Got a question. If the MC is 19 and his sister has been living with her adopted mother for over 20 years then that means she was adopted before he was born. If that's the case then how can her "adoption papers" at the church mention a brother?
Also. Proofread your work... "Chains of Density"? xD.
You've transposed a LOT of letters, to the point I'm wondering if you're dyslexic?