Hello! Welcome to Feedback Quest 8! My name's Hythrain, a co-host and one of the streamers for this event! This feedback is being written live as I stream your game! If you're interested in seeing my live reaction, let me know and I can send you a link to the VOD once it's posted to YouTube!
So my normal approach for any game in these events is simple: I get the game, make sure it's not a virus, then play it with as little information on how to play as possible. This way, I can judge how intuitively someone can figure out the game. Only if it's obvious that I need to read more will I do so. I note this so you can get a sense where some of these feedback comes from. In addition, I want to note that feedback and rating are different; don't use this feedback to gauge what I'll rate, nor should you view my rating as entirely indicative of my feedback.
For something listed as a visual novel... I'll be honest, I expected there to be more. It's not a big deal, I'm just surprised is all. That said, given how short it is I don't feel there's a lot of room to give feedback on it. I'll do my best, however.
First, there were some typos and other weird writing at parts. First is when the little girl says "We don't get as many mails as we used to nowadays." At first I was going to let the use of "mails" go, given this is a little girl talking and so there could be just developing speech stuff there, but later parts made it more obvious this is more likely a typo. In addition, the term nowadays is honestly redundant here. It makes it feel less like a person talking and more like a script trying to pad a little out. Just make it say "We don't get as much mail as we used to."
Second, when referring to picking up the mail as an item, just call it "mail" and not "a mail."
Third, while the spelling of "racoon" is considered correct, it's also a less common spelling. Normally, this is spelled as "raccoon." Not a big deal, though.
There is one non-typo issue that I feel should be fixed, and that's teleporting dad. Specifically, he shouldn't teleport up. If you want him to get up there before the little girl, at the very least we should see him go by. Otherwise, it'd be better if he comes up behind her. Maybe have a brief cutscene where he does this right before you get in vision of the grave. This may not seem like a big deal but given both what a short game this is and the sort of stuff at play in the story, I think maintaining a level of realism and consistency is a good idea here.