I prefer to put it here rather than in full view on the Jam test screen. Sorry, I tested your game but being bad at English I have trouble understanding everything.
The story is nice but having to judge it mainly on the writing because that's all that's there I can't say anything more. Except it's too short.
You're not the first I hear to be too bad at english for such game. I was thinking about making a super simplified english version, and now I am even more convinced to do it. At least it should be much faster to do. :)
And of course it's short right now: at the moment I post this, it's broken. I am still finishing it, with some more content that were missing. But it will still be quite short because I prefer to seek quality over quantity, that the player feel the lustful scenes the same I feel and like them, but I'm not native english so each passage cost me like an hour...
It's not that I have trouble understanding. It's just that my level of English doesn't allow me to say if it's good or not. The scenario is nice. But I'm not able to say anything about the style or the level of writing. I'm not an English speaker either. Just a few notions that allow me to survive + Google translate that corrects my biggest mistakes.
I really worked to write proper english, but I don't think someone who is not english native or studying english professionally can hope to have a style or more than a basic level. That is beyond my skills, what mattered to me was the story and to convey the sensual pleasure I felt when I imagined it.
I think my game should not be seen as a piece of literature art. (Even if technically, literature may be the art of telling something... But despite I worked about what word choose each time (grow, swell, expand etc.), what and when say information, where to cut sentences, where to insist and tell it longer, which is already a lot of details, I probably miss some style effect, word connotation, expression, and some other deep detail in english.)
I just try to write proper english so it looks the less odd possible for a native english.
And I choose to write because it doesn't need assets, but it's just a way to give the story. I could have tried to make a comic.
What is important to me is that people also enjoy or get excited from it. And I am happy you liked it. :)
