I enjoyed this one a lot; the squabbling between Grekkag and Malach feels believable and the setup with the ritual is clever. The bits right after "How didn't we notice this sooner, Malach?" were real highlights to me. I can't help but feel let down by the ending, however. I understand what you were going for, with the surprise to both the character and the reader, and the subversion of your setup, but there was no foreshadowing - no slight movement of the vampire beneath the rubble, no previous mention of its one free hand, no slowly and ominously stepping closer, etc. - and the end result is an ending that doesn't quite feel earned.
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Yeah, trying to fit foreshadowing in about the vampire just biding it's time without fully giving the game away was a nightmare in this one.
I did make sure to include the lines of it first having one arm kept close to its chest, then referring to it again as attempting to "cover it's heart with it's one free hand" as a few clues that it wasn't as helpless as it seemed, (along with its "predatory eyes" that had been staring at the dwarves the whole time) but had real trouble drawing attention to it in a way that wouldn't make the reveal too obvious.
Maybe if I did this one again I'd throw more trapdoor spider motifs into the vamp, or specify the hissing as being like the warning of a cornered beast, but that's always the way with the jams.
You don't always write the best possible version of the story, but sometimes you do write something close enough.