this was really nice, especially for your first vn :3
the industrial vibe is really cool & the amount of angles and art is really impressive,, overall I really enjoyed the worldbuilding and small bits of ancillary characterization, such as the survival strats of telling the time through cutting Col's hair is really cool. also the generally shifting environment rocks :3
To me, there was this wonderful series of insights into Sirus as character and role in the world: first she's some nebulous tormentor, then the slow revelation that Col speaks of her while also equating her with being a machine, into the revelation that she's Col's lover and former crewmate. lovely
it feels relatable how col is so focused on sirus. how they've become completely emotionally dependent on their only source of company. hearing that Will also got a letter and didnt even like it naturally would feel like betrayal
this patchwork nonlinear style storytelling is really fun and engaging imo, and you did a fine job juggling everything. imo one of the things I'd criticize is the text colors. when you don't know them yet, sirus' body text and col's name label are the same color, and this didn't feel like a work with that type of reader confusion in mind. tho if it'*s intentional to showcase col's dependence on sirus, I would've leaned into it even more, perhaps even forgo name labels all together idk. but yes, small things
overall, I really enjoyed this. the small spike trap and door slam jumpscares were genuinely fucking scary and yea :3
lovely tragic characters