This is a really interesting narrative-focused game! As far as jams go we don't get many games that have complete, fully-developed stories as the focus of the game, so they're very appreciated. I think that this game illustrates that you can really bring out characters and broader narratives at short notice and I hope this motivates you to challenge yourself with bigger stories in future projects!
I interpreted this game as more specifically exploring being young and in the middle of a number of family and social tensions that one isn't old enough to understand. It also touches on some themes of maturity and masculinity. I think that you did a great effort at bringing out the perspectives of the characters in a reasonably balanced way, particularly Mandy and Derek and their relationship.
I think the darker narrative behind the game was interesting, but could have been developed a little, as the secondary characters sort of appear, say/do their bad things, and leave without there being proper impact or closure to process what they've done and why, to put it generally not to spoil things.
The game is really well executed with an eerie carnival setting. I love the art of the fortune telling machine and creatively it fits well into the theme of the jam. I would have loved to see some more animation or movement on its sprite, but nonetheless it and its eerie prognostications are great.
Anders has some great suggestions so I won't repeat that feedback. I think the only other thing is that the disjointed, grainy aesthetic really worked well for the atmosphere but some areas (i.e. behind the bush, in the funhouse) seemed a little messy. I really liked the funhouse visual effects though.
Thanks for submitting Charlamagne to the SCREAM MACHINE jam!
- SCREAM CATALOGUE