itch.io

Oh god. Something you may be interested in looking into: there are actually a variety of banks now that are fully online. They're not scams, fully FDIC insured and all (or the credit union equivalent in some cases). Many people use them for their high-yield savings accounts, as the fact that they don't have to maintain physical offices greatly reduces their operating costs and they pass on those savings, but you can just use them as an ordinary bank as well, complete with debit card in some cases. I bring this up because assuming you have at least mediocre credit, you can sign up for and use them from anywhere in the US. Obviously you're not going to go to all that just for my silly games, but I get the impression your current options are somewhat lackluster in general. Good terms, very competitive with each other, so it might be a way to get a less shitty bank, especially for operating in the modern world with things like Paypal and so on. Just google high yield savings account banks and you'll get a bunch of listings and rankings for the ones available at the moment and their offerings. Just a thought/possibility.
All that aside though, I'll take a look at my FA notes.