Much as I enjoy the premise, and lemme also say i LOVE the glimpses into the MC's mental state as well, but the demo itself feels a lot like a first draft to me. I understand Day 1 is meant to be an introduction to the cast, but the mentioning of the regulars I thought were cameos for Patreon supporters before I saw them on the creators socials. There was a lot of telling instead of showing which ain't BAD but didn't always feel necessary for a visual novel ("he let out a small laugh and smiled" then seeing his sprite change to a smile when we could just have the sprite change). For the ending when you're being chased by the serial killer, there was also a bit too much internal dialogue to keep the tension & momentum going.
Ok ok I know I'm harping a lot about stuff, but I DID enjoy playing this and I really wanna know how the story plays out! I just hope that the first day will also get updated as well as the project moves forward is all.
Thanks so much for your honest review! No worries at all, I really appreciate constructive criticism, and I actually agree with the points you made! :)
In my defense, I haven’t written anything in over 15 years, so I kind of expected my writing to be a bit rusty and to have some flaws. That’s why I was honestly surprised that most people seemed totally happy with Day 1, haha.
I’d love to update the chapter, but the problem is that there are already several translations done by native speakers. Any changes I make would mean all those translations would also need to be updated, which I hadn’t really considered at the time. (And honestly, translations weren’t even on our radar for a first-time project, it overwhelmed me a little bit 😅)
Since the translations are done by volunteers, not all of them will stick around or stay in contact with me. For the next chapters, I’ll probably hold off on allowing translations until I’m really satisfied with the English script. So unfortunately, I can’t promise that Day 1 will get another update. With even more languages being added, it would be way too much for me to handle all the retranslation work on my own 😔
All I can promise is that I’ll do my best to make the next chapters tighter and improve the overall flow. Thanks so much for playing and for enjoying it anyway <3
- holyschnitzel