Fellow game dev (and aspiring horror game dev) here,
First of all, awesome work on putting yourself out there and making something. It's no easy feat making a game and no matter how it turns out you should be proud of your achievement!
I'm a game dev student at university, and have slowly been doing dev with Unity since 2023. I relate to a lot of what you are saying here. Learning an engine is hard, and even years later, you'll be learning new features, techniques, tools, etc. to use. You've even attempted stuff (e.g. cutscenes) that I've never tried!
I felt a lot of self-criticism (and still do) when trying something new, especially if it takes a while for me to do compared to others. For example, in my last game, I tried coding in C# for the first time, and it took me hours just to get basic interaction in a 2D game working. Learning takes a long time, and you'll always be learning on your journey. With practice, you'll become a lot more efficient and fast at what you do.
You sound like you're doing the right things by doing jams and, most importantly, reflecting on the process.
Best of luck with your journey, and feel free to reach out if you ever want to chat about game dev! :D
- Isaac