for the second scene in the poly route am I supposed to choose to be in a poly relationship or not to be in one? I always have to choose after talking to miri
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I think you may be stuck in an error. The threesome counter (which is used to determine if you're currently in a poly relationship after Miri's conversation), doesn't reset at rebirth correctly (it was skipped by accident). I can't say for sure that this is stopping progress, but it will likely fast track you beyond some content.
You can correct this on your own by adding a line into the revival_summary.rpy file (if you don't have a code editor, you can open the file directly into notepad).
Underneath where it says 'reset revival variables' paste in the following on its own line:
$ threesome_counter = 0
Once that's done, your counters will reset at rebirth correctly and you won't be forced into the poly route.