Some praise first: Herman's character design is excellent, just nice to look at in general, and the colors are a perfect match for the relatively grimy tone of the story. Apart from that, though, the presentation feels really messy; the sprite has visible border artifacts and doesn't really fit in with the 3D backgrounds, and the Naninovel default UI is very much out of place.
It's not impossible to tell a compelling story in 2.5k words, but this one maybe borders on too stripped down to really accomplish a lot? The ostensible emotional core is the relationship between these two characters, but the scene between them is very short and ends so abruptly – to provide context, the writing has to fill in pieces of the backstory via the narration, which just isn't all that exciting to read. What we're reading just kind of feels like a climax without setup.