The prose is very purple. It moves simultaneously a mile a minute and extremely slowly. Maybe if you wanted to play Frost up as being a bit melodramatic it would work, but it's okay to just let things happen and breathe a bit, without cramming a metaphor into every sentence. Focus a bit more on the relationship between Frost and Ridge, and a little less on his own internal dialogue. The twist with ridge is also very... inconsequential? His family comes up more or less one time before the reveal that he's also gay and in a loveless marriage. So it just feels like a net neutral. Not lost... nothing gained. Still! You should be proud of yourself, learn and grow and continue to follow your passion!