The writing is incredibly rough, feeling like it hasn't been edited at all, to the degree that it affects the reading experience quite a bit. Besides frequent typos, the syntax is sometimes off in a way that harms comprehension or prevents it entirely ("only broken by his increasing faster breathing", "Either the dust is partly salt, which salt doesn't usually get that fine.") The flow of the prose is also harmed by wonky use of punctuation ("Nigel tried to laugh lightly, humor is a coping mechanism he picked up from me."), often leading to sentences being too long for their good. Basically, there's a lot that could be honed to make the VN a smoother read.
I like how the game uses portraits to show both characters; it's a fun visual idea, even if the floating hand holding the phone looks pretty weird. Besides that, polish is lacking: there seems to be no sound at all, the sprite doesn't have a transparent background, and some scenes could afford to be reflect the story better – the climax involves a dramatic moment with the lights going out, but the sprites remain there for the player to see. Ren'py's default title screen is not a super good first impression, either.
I can't say much about the plot, because it's honestly just kind of difficult to make sense of. The stakes are a little unclear for most of it – there's some kind of cult, but they don't seem to be actively involved in what happens? And then a monster? I do think the campy, jokey dialog does a good job at setting the tone and establishing the characters, but I'm afraid I had a pretty hard time getting into the story on the whole.