I like the presentation and the allegory you setup. At first I wondered what exactly you were aiming for - I think there's a middle ground between your prose and where the "Eureka!" moment hits that can be refined a bit. However, this is an elevated way to make flash fiction more impactful. I think it would have benefited from more interaction to balance the narrative. OR, add a few more images and enlarge the text so the player isn't faced with a wall of words because in the beginning all the can do is wonder "Where is this going?" and you want to help them reach that point in the most satisfying way possible. Just my two cents, but your entry for the jam is still very smart.
As an aside, I am also a fan of Louie Zong's work ^_^
That man knows how to evoke an emotion! lol