Cool trifold! Some comments in no particular order:
- I really like the wyrms and their symbiotic relationship with the radishes.
- Would be good to have PCs have to do some task - it seems like the rover can do the whole job on its own?
- Typeface used for locations is a bit hard to read.
- Really liked the variety of locations! Makes me want to read an expanded version with a point-crawl map.
- Copy-edit would be good - quite a few typos and grammatical errors.
- Love the time scale element.
- Love the mental image of the death mountain. I enjoy that the scenario goes from grubby and probably boring work to epic literal moving mountains by the end.
Overall, really cool concept, love the cheerfulness of the job brochure vibe, would love to see it slightly expanded for a multi-session run (and more random images of radishes).