Oh god, i can't, i love Otto soo much, what a man... ngl when i started reading the rewritten, i was scared that Otto was gonna change too much, the first time he appeared it did scared me, but the rewrite did started growing on me with time, I'm looking forward to see how you are gonna handle him, and also the situation with Jayce and the love options? That's gonna be an interesting plot (also handsome cry baby bear? Is he gonna have a route???)
Is also cool to see that Emmanuel finally got into the university in a different version of his world, it was a good surprise
As for the writing it just needs some adjustments and tweaks, some of the wording (at least in english) don't makes soo much sense even on context and there are some continuity errors who may make the story less coherent
But overall this still is one of my favorites VN's and i wish you luck developing the story in the future!
(Otto please let me simp for other characters, my heart can't stop melting when i see this gorgeous, small and handsome man on screen)