This deserves five stars because it understands what it is and does what it wants to do perfectly. Perfection is not when there's nothing more to add, it's when there's nothing more to remove. Everything that I am unable to mention without spoiling the game is absolutely necessary in turning a funny little game into a comedic masterpiece. Hell, even the Unity splash adds to the comedy. The ONLY criticism I would have is that the audio could have enhanced the comedy a little further had certain sound effects been there, but that is just be being incredibly nitpicky as a salty sound designer. Please continue following your impulses to create more weird games like this.
A+