quick questions. How do you get these ladies? I have looked in both places until I'm blue in the face
I must have done something wrong cause I don't get ! above the thief when I go there in time skip so any tips how to I can do this or fix it.
The first character is Lady Miles. She lives in the noble living quarters of the castle in Aldlyn.
The second character is the cowgirl Maxine.
Both should unlock in the CG room after you talked with them at least once.
The thief can start the quest after you recruited Kurohime, Citrinne, and Lady Akira to your party in the time skip phase. Have you done that? It happens after the event that recruits Scarlet to your party. And make sure you look for the thief in the new Thremten map in the time skip phase, not the old Thremten. 
Then you're missing content from the previous update.
- A follow-up event (after recruiting Scarlet) can be triggered in act 2 with an icon that appears at Old Ashton in Begus. It requires the initial events with Citrinne, and the events with training Jiliesh from Millwater. The event will unlock three more new party members, which can be used during the time skip events. Same as Scarlett, they'll disappear when you leave the time skip phase, and re-enter the group when you come back.