Dude, I completely understand how you feel.
The truth from me is that I have been dealing with feelings of unhappiness for over fifteen years. It mainly has to do with internet harassment because of the fact that I like Sonic the Hedgehog. I've grown to detest the internet crusades against "toxic fandom." I feel that it's absolutely dehumanizing to label entire groups of people as toxic just because they don't always see eye to eye. I've been hurt more by the narrative of toxic fandom than any fandom that was ever declared to be toxic. I think that if everything is toxic, then nothing is toxic, and if you try to play the "who is the least toxic" game, you'll be playing for life. And, yeah, before anyone asks, I am indeed autistic.
You and I are in the same boat, so stay strong.