Post by ActiveDayDreamer in Dere Quartet comments

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Thanks! I actually did enjoy the game. Sometimes I felt the stories were boring either due to slow pacing issues or not enough stakes in the story.

Yet, I actually preferred this visual novel over Sweet Science. During the ending theme of the blonde-haired girl’s route, the singer mentions Slyvia’s name and other characters’ names too, except they’re not in this visual novel. So, that could be confusing for other players.

Other times, I felt the progression of the relationships from acquaintances, to friends, and later to lovers felt a bit contrived and superficial. It happened very quickly, and it didn’t help that the main character was a self-insert protagonist.

One thing I noticed is that in Sweet Science, there’s a blurb about the characters presenting their projects to the class. Yet, in this VN, there was no follow-up about the math project in ice queen’s route. That was disappointing.

Otherwise, I was surprised to learn the writing and story ideation came from A.I., even with human edits. I thought the best story was the last girl’s route. It had quick pacing, mystery, and rising conflict with a funny but logical ending.

I think that story route highlights the capabilities of storytelling and originality without the use of A.I. I would be interested in seeing and reading a VN from you without A.I. or human assistance either. Just you and your best attempts at art, music, and writing.

I do that with my visual novels, even if they are mediocre at best. Yet, I can say they’re mine wholly. My only use of A.I. was using the title ChaptGPT gave me for my first visual novel. Otherwise, I haven’t used it since for my VN creations.

In the end, I did enjoy reading through this VN much more than Sweet Science. It had chapters, theme songs, a relatable setting, and wholesome stories too! I loved the romance, and the pink-haired girl’s route made me laugh.

All in all, I give it a 7/10. Keep up the good work! 🤩

THE LAST SECRET165 days ago (3 edits)

Thanks for your feedback!

Regarding the ending song with the other names: They are famous "tsundere" type girls from famous anime and VNs.

About AI use: So far, my other VNs have not used AI for the story writing. That was definitely an experiment in Dere Quartet. It was half-successful, I would say: The AI had some pretty good ideas and is writing more natural English than me, but it lacks coherence and direction, so I would only use it as a helper tool in the future.

I have one VN without any AI use: The Last Secret.

That one was done before AI could contribute anything useful. The graphics are – not as good, but it's okay if compared with other non-profit projects, and the VN got very good ratings on Steam. You might want to give it a try.

It's set in the same universe as Sweet Science, by the way, and the connection between both will become more visible in the third part of the trilogy "Kieta memory" on which we are working right now. (Test players welcome!)

ActiveDayDreamer165 days ago (6 edits)

Nice!

I saw some typos here and there in this VN, but I didn’t mind. I preferred the length of this VN over Sweet Science.

Although, I was disappointed seeing Kurumi’s character be more of a direct ice queen rather than a shy and apathetic character. Being a shy girl growing up, I was thinking Kurumi’s personality would have been similar to mine, considering her introduction and appearance. She came across reserved more than she was shy. Her route, albeit rewarding, felt the most unnatural to me in terms of character growth and relationship development. I wished there was more subtlety for her character. Not everything has to be spelled out, but I understand this is a VN meant for all ages too.

My only other nitpick is that at the end of the pink-haired girl’s route, everyone has a grown-up appearance except for the protagonist who still has the teenager portrait, even in the future. I can understand not wanting to use A.I. to reproduce an adult male, as the results were uncanny at the end of Azuki’s route in Sweet Science when the player sees the father of the protagonist. That honestly looked so bad and out of place. Regardless, you could always have no character portrait for the grown-up protagonist in this VN to give the illusion he grew up without explicitly showing it if creating more art is not feasible.

All in all, I think the reason your visual novels, as well as other ones I’ve read, can feel slow is because the writer goes on about the character’s thoughts, the writer can info-dump the reader with boring or irrelevant details, or the writer describes the setting too much.

If that isn’t an issue, then the other issue I find is a lack of conflict, ambiguity in what the conflict is, not enough stakes, no questions to keep readers engaged, or a predictable or boring plot line.

Yet, if there is stuff going on, knowing the why behind why the protagonist is doing what they’re doing and knowing why it’s important to them can help elevate a story into something more meaningful and interesting, even without the use of action-packed scenes.

And are my visual novels any better? Nope. It depends which one you read, but a lot of my visual novels focus on dialogue where you read the flow of a conversation. Yet, a lot of my visual novels were made for game jams and are therefore extremely short. In a sense, they may not be considered stories at all.

However, the ones I took my time with, I used a short story plot structure to help guide the story in a logical way that helped build tension gradually over time to maintain good pacing story-wise.

So, don’t be afraid to cut out the fluff or use a plot outline to help sharpen your storytelling skills! Have a good day!

THE LAST SECRET164 days ago

Thanks for your feedback once more!

You're right: the side image of the protagonist shouldn't be there when he's grown up. I changed that for the next update.

Regarding the story's pacing: I'm sure that can be improved, but there's also the issue of different players: I had people saying my first VN was too slow while others said it were too fast. There are definitely different tastes there. – Same as with the length. I'm working on the pacing of my stories nevertheless.

There's no big stakes in Dere Quartet, as it is a rather cozy story meant to give some relaxed time. It's different in The Last Secret and it will be different in Kieta Memory.

ActiveDayDreamer164 days ago

I meant Azuki, not Yuki. I haven’t read Sweet Science in a long time. I edited it to the correct name in my previous post.

For me, when I got to the end of Sweet Science, I remember wanting to cry tears of joy because I finally made it to the end. I was forcing myself to get through that VN.

The Dungeon and Dragons inspired segment in Sweet Science was fine, but I disliked how I had to sit through that scene either way, despite being given a choice to not want to play a game with the girls. That scene could technically be considered filler.

Yet, I actually liked the cozy vibes in this new VN. I still forced myself to read through it at times. I read through all routes in one sitting, and that took me 3 hours.

That theme song was so catchy and good! That song was stuck in my head later on after I finished playing it but in a good way.

The art was beautiful for both A.I. and hand-drawn backgrounds and sprites. The CGs were great too!

The only weird CG was the pink-haired girl running through the hall. Her face didn’t look quite right to me.

And the CG where the protagonist and blonde-haired girl hold hands outside in the park didn’t look like a park to me. It looked like they were standing at the end of a mountain cliff overlooking the town, even though they were in an outdoors park within the town in the story.

The VN was humorous to me and made me laugh, and I felt for the characters in the more emotional moments too.

I noticed how everyone had the same floral and red stationary when the protagonist was given letters by them. It would have been interesting to see different kinds of letters and handwritings by them depending on the girl.

And, somehow, the teacher is the hottest character in the game. I remember playing on another VN called Nelsim on itch where the protagonist goes to college and befriends different college-aged girls, but the mom ended up being the hottest character in the game. My friend could second that too! 😂

Not that it’s a requirement, but if you ever have future visual novels that take place in a school setting, the teacher could act like a mentor to the pupil to give the protagonist and the teacher some sort of relationship that is still appropriate yet endearing.

Just a thought. 😅

THE LAST SECRET164 days ago

Yes, I autocorrected the name to Azuki when I read your post. ;)

I'm glad you liked the art and in particular the music. My favorite from Dere Quartet is the Yanko-chan ending song... but the opening also came out very well.

The idea with the stationary is nice. Next time maybe...

We haven't planed any more high school stories currently (besides a version of Sweet Science for female players that will be without romance), but I would consider your teacher idea.

If you want to become an early testplayer of our next VNs, please contact me on Twitter or via our web page feedback form!

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