So, in your attempts to excuse your mod's behavior, you're not addressing the fact that, despite what your explicitly posted rules about not asking for selfies in any circumstances- which is standard for such servers, your mod did in fact ask for selfies.
You know this, as it turns out, you're not ignorant to them doing so.
And you're condoning the bait and switch behavior and splitting hairs over wording. "You're welcome to leave if you're uncomfortable" is the same thing as what I said, just with a thin veil of polite wording. And it's demonstrable to be the same in action, not just theory, when instead of leaving the option open to me, or allowing me to speak with someone else, or any other way of handling things in good faith that wasn't extortion- I was *immediately* booted from the server because I did not unquestioningly comply.
At the end of the day, the plain and simple fact is the advertised rules are a lie. People's right to anonymity and protection of sensitive information is being demanded forfeit as an ultimatum to join the discord, based on an arbitrarily decided cut off for what age range is deemed sus for entrance. And if someone asks for the publicly stated rules to be upheld on your side of things, just as they themselves were doing by providing the initial verification, they get thrown out of the server. Which also means, because I'm not friends with any mods there, that yes- I'm effectively blocked and have no way to privately resolve it. Subsequently I could only come on itch and post a comment to try making you aware, because I made the mistake of assuming it was a rogue mod.
Fact remains, you're kicking people who asked for your mods to uphold your own rules. People posting their age verification with additional dating and writing the game name is cooperating with due diligence to keep minors out, and is enough to absolve you of legal responsibility. We all know teens may try to find ways around it, so that's when you boot the sneaks at the first sign of them having tried to pull shenanigans because something they posted insinuates they're younger than they claimed and provided evidence of. But what isn't acceptable is trying to extort adults under the excuse of stopping the occasional boundary pushing teens, and doing so in ways that misdirect and misadvertise what you're attempting to do from others.
If that shady way is how you want to run your discord, it's your discord. Make excuses if you want and do whatever. But it is in fact dishonest and entrapping. And for many people living in areas that are trying to demonize people for not living puritanical lives or reading the "wrong" material, such demands from random discord mods who *are* allowed to keep *their* anonymity while hypocritically demanding we forfeit ours, it is a flat out security risk. And it also begs the question of what else sort of dishonest behavior and tactics get used once someone is fully on the server, as well as what other demands might be made under threat of expulsion if continued unquestioning obedience isn't shown.
I simply wanted to join the discord because of one of your posts that indicated new chapters are made available earlier via the discord than they are on itch. But this sort of behavior is not worth dealing with in exchange for earlier access to a project. And it doesn't help engender good will and/or long term support.
Take care and good luck.