So I finally got around to giving this a shot.
I'd say you're off to a solid start! At first I didn't think I'd be into it; I'll admit, mecha generally isn't my thing, but I was actually kind of surprised by how much I enjoyed this demo. I'm no professional critic or anything, but you did a really good job describing Judah's exam in the first scene, I was feeling a little tense myself just reading it! I'm also really liking the cast of characters you've introduced so far. We haven't had much time with them yet, sure, but already I'm getting the sense that there's a lot of personality in Judah's squad.
I'll definitely be keeping an eye on this one for the next few updates at least. I'm looking forward to the next chapter. ^^