itch.io

you know how I was like, “I put Parf on r/vampires and they hated it?” For a while, I would post there for my own entertainment, because it was rife with dumbasses. Like, one of them assumed that Kenny faked his sight disability to “lure in prey,” and when I told them he didn’t, they said “ohh okay. so he makes people pity him and then lures them in” and it was SO weird and ableist.

but what got me to stop posting there, what got me to stop being entertained by that place, was when i explained val’s stance on vampirism and immortality, and i got GANGED UP ON. they found it incredibly bizarre that val thinks about death and dying on a daily basis and they were like, “that’s a sign of major mental instability, and he needs help.” lol. wow i so did not realize that 🙄. someone even called him the most depressing vampire character they’d ever heard of. this really puzzled me because honestly, i think val is as optimistic as he can be in his situation, his relationship to death is realistic for his own perspective on mortality, and most importantly, a character who is still worth engaging with. they were insistent that the way i wrote val was harmful, and that made him a badly made character who they were unwilling to approach with good faith. I was like, where even AM i right now? aren’t you people reading shit by like, anne rice, one of the most mentally unstable authors i have ever come across? and it’s not like there is a shortage of mentally unwell vampires. it made me think about how people insist that chronically ill people have an upbeat and happy demeanor all the time, and don’t show signs of mental turmoil. immortality is somewhat of an illness to me, and i wanted to frame it as such. immortality can be framed in many interesting ways, but anyone who fully understands the ramifications of it and appears to be mentally stable… really couldn’t exist to me, realistically. if people want to explore immortality in a way that is realistic there has to be acknowledgement of how much this world and our brains are not made for forever.