Ok, first of all, making a roguelike like this during a single week is insane. Congrats!
Obviously, the balance between power and handicaps is way off, most of which are, basically, a death sentence. While this clearly wouldn't work in a full game, for a jam entry it's ideal, since most games won't be played for long and, so, the gags won't have enough time to wear out (before frustration sets in).
I don't want to imagine the hours it took with the addition of multiple enemies, weapons, a final boss and everything else. It's pretty much insane. To be honest, the logistics of making this game are what interest me the most, lol.
Congratulations! You should have far more ratings. It's possible entering the wrong version affected the algorithm, since nobody should open it. Regardless, this is definite portfolio material, programatically and artistically! Congrats.