I know I'm a little late for this one, seeing is how it was entered for Spooktober 2024 But I'm pretty happy I read through it. Ngl this was pretty great but I do have one problem with it that I will explain below but spoilers ahead. I definitely do recommend it through if you read this far, my recording was like 40mins with no cuts so take that as you would.
So to the dev (and who ever else reads this):
PROS
This was gripping right from the start and I'm not talking about how red was white knuckling that bat, but you did get having something interesting going on right from the start. I felt myself getting into the characters pretty immediately.
This story itself until about the last 15 mins was compelling. The way you wrote blue, I was guessing so many things that could have been in that box. But to later find out what was in there was messed up but I was like yea ok. Then to be hit with the connection to red that was crazy.
These characters felt real and we were just following a point of the night through some kid named Green's perspective. To have them change and in the way that they did (I'm trying to avoid spoilers the best I can) was expected but it was still so "satisfying" the way it all played out (like the pay off was worth the build up).
So to the dev (and who ever else reads this):
PROS
This was gripping right from the start and I'm not talking about how red was white knuckling that bat, but you did get having something interesting going on right from the start. I felt myself getting into the characters pretty immediately.
This story itself until about the last 15 mins was compelling. The way you wrote blue, I was guessing so many things that could have been in that box. But to later find out what was in there was messed up but I was like yea ok. Then to be hit with the connection to red that was crazy.
These characters felt real and we were just following a point of the night through some kid named Green's perspective. To have them change and in the way that they did (I'm trying to avoid spoilers the best I can) was expected but it was still so "satisfying" the way it all played out (like the pay off was worth the build up).
CONS
No cons enough said...
This is just me being a ahh but at a certain part after the transformation it felt like the story could have been concluded but instead it went on. I was disappointed by that because I found myself losing interest after the point. I mean I guess the ending fit... As I'm typing this it came to me that there is 2 endings, earlier I thought that maybe the other ending was some quick ending where you just die... but that if it kept the momentum as the previous part... ummm idk. Let me know if I should go through the other part?
All in All. This was well written. Good shnit.
ps. I typed alot I'm not going through this and proof reading it so good luck understanding it.