Really great myth story, this is the stuff that campfire tales are made of! As far the writing, I would always suggest that if you're going to use physical descriptions of a character (especially as the first paragraph) then you need to bring that back around by the end. Without a word limit, or with some editing, theres a great place in this story for that... I don't like the way the ending is written at all, it feels really rushed and just flat out tells the reader how it ends. I think if you could have described him like you did at first, but show how his appearance changes to the undead thing he becomes that would have been MUCH stronger. Other than that, I would nitpick on stuff like telling us that he "sort of" believes in the supernatural, or how the demon's appearance shifts the pace. Still one of the more engaging stories in my que so far! I'll probably be plagiarizing this tale next time I go camping =)