I played through the demo and it was pretty good! (It's a pretty lengthy demo!)The artwork for the backgrounds and characters is great. The characters are pretty likable so far (<3 Shiori) and I'm looking forward to seeing where the story leads and how these characters develop.
The writing has a good balance between serious/emotional moments and humorous moments. I thought some of the writing was a bit overdramatic at first, but I was glad that the humor helped keep it in check. I was even a bit surprised the main character had some self-awareness at the beginning to help me get over that feeling I had. After I thought about it, I came to think, "Yeah, I guess that's probably how someone would think or feel in that situation" and got over that feeling of it being overdramatic.
I made a video with my commentary and experiences. Keep up the great work and good luck with development!