Post by itoldyousoso in Gender All the Things! comments

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if things and activities were not "gendered", why bother using them as gender defining attributes.

there is a social feedback loop i guess.

are you female because you like pink stuff or do you like pink stuff because you are female. and what about females that do not like pink very much.

and is pink stuff for females, because they like it, or do they like it because it is for them.

i wish there were an internal gender sense. but there is none and not even brain scans can distinguish between male and female brains. so hopping on that giant social feedback loop is what we have. gender does not exist if you are alone in a vacuum.

Beth and Angel Make Games3 days ago

This is EXACTLY it. When I first transitioned, I LOVED pink stuff. I bought what I considered the girliest stuff I could, including some makeup and stuff. I started shaving my arms and legs.

After a few months, I realized how much of that stuff was just a mask to present more "female." And the whole point of being transgender, to me at least, has always been to be myself. So why the heck should I "be a girl"???

It really is impossible to turn that distinction off, it feels like. Even now, looking at people, my brain immediately decides if they're (probably) male or female. I don't verbally assume, but I sure decide mentally first and then have to shake it off, like "nope that might not be true!"

itoldyousoso3 days ago

you might want to look up the https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley it is a good explanation for many things you will see happening in this topic.

you used the term cognitive dissonance and that is what is happening in the valley of the graph and why it is uncanny. mixed signals. it makes people uneasy. the graph in the explanation is between living people and unliving puppets. but you can draw similar graphs for gender and anything else that can give mixed signals.

so i would see the desire to upgrade "the mask" by using and presenting girly things as trying to overcome the valley of mixed signals and be on the other side. we are not puppets after all and realize that we give off signals.

Beth and Angel Make Games2 days ago

Oh wow, I learned about the uncanny valley way before cognitive dissonance (I used to be super into making video games so I learned about it with 3d art, not that I ever made anything 3d anyway), but I never considered that they're one in the same.

I love that so much too, about seeing typical-gendered stuff as another form of uncanny valley, and thereby being able to power through it. I 100% agree btw that realizing the signals are happening and that it's in our power for how we want to receive those signals is hugely important and necessary for growth... in all kinds of stuff, not just the weird things society teaches us.

- ✨Beth

itch.io

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