I just have to bring this up, because it strikes too much of a chord with something I've been working on for over 3 years (And unlike Zordak, I can guarantee it isn't going to be worth the wait).
You're talking to someone with chronic depression & anxiety since a very early age (We're talking Primary/Grade school). Believe me, I know what you mean. Through all the problems I'm dealing with all the time, there are friends out there who have tried all they can to change my mind about this exact topic, and how I feel the exact same way because of the same kind of reasons.
Understandably, they've given up on the moral side of it (They just can't get through to me), and it's up to me to keep going. Or should I say, it's up to us.
I know it's a very cold, dark & spaceous feeling, like being stuck in a giant cavern without a light. But for whatever it's worth, please remember that these depths are your own, and you can use it to some kind of very twisted advantage, no matter how impossible that might seem at times. It's all yours to explore, despite that sounding & feeling like the least appealing deal I could mention. Probably even sounds like the worst part, I know. But as much as it will not seem this way (Seriously), it's a lot more linear than you'd think... Kinda ties back to the whole 'Cavern without a light' thing. It's deceiving because of how much it can make you stagger with where you're going, or even just stop in your tracks & feel completely adrift.
I'm not trying to presume what's inside your head, but I do know what this kind of stuff does to someone. Believe me, I know. I can't offer a fix-all trick, because that doesn't exist. Hopefully I can just give a bit of insight to help you on your way.