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(6 edits)

Great game! I'm completely immersed in this story. Any game that develops a sense of history/lore automatically has my interest, and this VN takes that and runs with it pretty well!

The only issue I'm currently having with it (and I'm only on Chapter 2, so maybe this won't be a thing for long) is there's a considerable change in the writing from Ch1 to Ch2. Chapter 1 was mostly written well but Chapter 2 could use some serious TLC from a proofreader. I don't want to judge too harshly, not knowing if the writer is a native speaker... but so many run-on sentences, missing or incorrect punctuation, subject-verb agreement, so much seems to be all over the place and at times it's jarring to read and distracting from the actual storytelling, which itself is interesting, engaging, and has me invested.

[EDIT/UPDATE]: Can confirm, this didn't stay an issue for long. There are still things here and there, but I'm down to the last chapter and can say it hasn't been a bothersome distraction ever since. Seems to be much less of an issue in later chapters.

But so far that's my only negative critique, and while it's been distracting many times I've still been able to grasp the story, so in the end it hasn't ruined anything for me and ultimately amounts to a nit-pick. I keep wanting to know more, and there are things happening that I didn't expect which is great!

Can't put this one down. Great work overall! 👍👍

(+1)

I'm happy to hear you like it!  I didn’t have a proofreader for Chapters 1, 2, 3, and 4. Now, But some people, set up a Discord group dedicated to fixing the spelling issues in my game. The downside is that I have very little time to implement all the improvements, but I’ll do it slowly over time. (My day job and work on the avn steals all of it.) But i managed add the implementations of Chapter 1 so far. Which is probably why you noticed such a big drop in quality afterward.