itch.io

I'm sorry for your experience, and I'm certainly in no position to question it. All I can say is that I have an experience of the community as well, spanning quite a long time, and while it's far from the wonderful, fluffy thing a lot of people imagine it as, there are good people too. Again, most seem to be fairly harmless, and that can be a problem because their severe lack of cynicism and skepticism can be very welcoming and warm, but can also render them somewhat oblivious when someone someone starts exploiting people.

But again, fiction did not do this. Fiction did not create the people who abused you. Everyone has dark shit in their head. If they let it consume them it's because they chose to do so, not because art corrupted them somehow. I know it's tempting to think that way, to think "Why don't we just get rid of all the stuff that 'gives people ideas'? Only happy art, only happy thoughts, only happy acts." But that doesn't work because the problem isn't external, it's internal. This stuff is already a part of all of us, it's inescapable, and if you try to ignore or suppress it it only gets worse. That's what the old Jekyll and Hyde story is about: you can't "purify" things, either on an individual or societal level. That just makes the problem worse. You have to learn to integrate the two, to find a way to live with the dark side of yourself and, ideally, sublimate that energy toward something positive.

If furry stuff brings up bad memories, by all means stay away from it. I'll admit I find it a little strange you played the game, given your background. If this stuff has bad mental associations, stay way from it! Or at least re-introduce yourself slowly. But regardless, understand I don't want to cause you, or anyone else pain. The purpose of these games, in their own humble way, is exactly the opposite. Sex CAN be fun. Exploring kink and taboo in a safe way can be fun. It can relax and renew and help distract from the miserable grind of day to day life. I'm sorry your experiences have been bad, and I'm not denying them at all. Just understand that they CAN be positive too: they have been for me. In a weird way, this stuff has been a very positive force in my life: It's helped me deal with negative emotions, de-stress, reorient. At times in my life when things have been very dark, being able to get lost in fun little fantasy works, little horny vacations has been profoundly helpful. It has, almost literally, been a lifesaver. And that's why I make this stuff: to make some money of course, but also to try to share that positive experience with others. And from the comments I get, I've had at least some success.

I'm not a therapist or a psychologist. All I can say, genuinely, is that I hope you're able to heal and be happy again, in time. And I hope some of that happiness is being able to enjoy sexual stuff again, despite what's happened. It really can be a positive thing.