Post by luke1821 in Cruel Serenade comments

Viewing post in Cruel Serenade comments

I don't know what to say. No one's laid it out to me that way honestly I don't know. I really do wanna be involved with it because it makes me happy. but I'm so tired of the pain and shit man. I just wanna be happy. I really appreciate you talking to me. You've done a lot more than a lot of other people. I've tried to talk with genuinely thank you. I don't know man my whole life I've had trouble making friends and feeling happy and then when I became a furry things got a little easier and then like I said all that shit happened and ever since then I haven't been able to have that feeling again. now it's gotten so bad to the point of where I honestly don't believe I can have a relationship or an actual friend. I don't know what to do. I want to go back to feeling happy and comfortable with that but now it's just a source of constant sadness and anger, and I don't want it to be. sorry I'm going on another rant. Honestly, these past couple weeks have been hard and my head's been all over the place. I'm sorry I even laid all this shit on you, man. I hope your life's going good and I hope you keep being the good person you are. seriously thank you for what you said. I've been anxious about this conversation and what you said I don't know, man I've got so much to work on. I've got so much fucked up with me. and I hate it bro. I'm scared cause I'm only 18 I'm terrified that shit's gonna get worse and all I'm trying to do is heal man. and all this thinking about my past and this shit on top of trying to find a job and make sure we have food and shit. It's just so much. And all I want is to relax and be happy I used to ERP and shit too man. god it made me so happy but then as the years went by, I started getting mad at myself for it.told myself It was bad even though deep down I knew that was helpful for me and it did exactly what you said it did (i even talked to my therapist and she said it was a good way to get those feelings out) and you're right. I'm just denying it because I am upset. I don't know man my whole life's a fucking mess but once again, I'm sorry to put all this on you. I know you're a complete stranger I'm sorry.i hope you have a good rest your day and thank you so much for replying to me once again. your words mean a lot to me, thank you.

oh, one last thing sorry about not seeing your messages. itch.io doesn't notify me. So if you reply to this, sorry if I don't see it for a while.

bitshiftgames36 days ago (1 edit) (+1)

Hey, hey, breathe, it's good, you're good.

I'm not going to say I know the feeling EXACTLY, everyone has their own stuff to deal with. But I had some pretty rough times from high school all the way up till...a few years ago really. Trying to deal with shitty living situations, financial stress and yes, definitely sexuality stuff (though that resolved a lot sooner than the others). But I'm definitely no stranger to that overwhelming feeling of being buried under shit. And being younger can make it worse in some ways, because you have more energy, which means there's more energy for the anxiety to work with and run wild. The good news is there's obviously a lot of advantage to being young too, most obviously that you've got time.

Take that time. Sort out priorities. Triage like they do in ER, try to figure out what's most important, where you're taking the biggest hits or, on the other side, where the easiest wins are, and start stacking them up. Don't force yourself to do stuff too fast or too early, but do try to make steady progress on what's important. Build it up over time.

And again, I'm really sorry to hear something you enjoyed so much got ruined. Not because you can't enjoy my silly little game, but because like I said, that stuff really is a big part of life, and can be really positive and helpful with the right people. But again, just do what you can to build, slowly. As someone who's struggled with depression and definitely still has some trust issues, human connections are still important, despite the shitty things so many people do. I obviously don't know you, or all the specifics of your situation, but I do at least somewhat remember what it was like to be a teenager, and yeah. I'll just say that if I was able to get past some of the stuff that seemed really dire at that point, your chances are probably pretty good too. Just let yourself take the time you need. Not too fast, not too slow.

luke182136 days ago(+4)

thanks man. I really appreciate that. I wish there were more folk like you, i appreciate you talking to me man. Have a good rest your day and rest of your life homie. whatever you're going through still I hope it resolves quickly. We probably won't talk again but for the record, my name is Lukas. It was nice man seriously sorry about the dumbass comments that I made.

bitshiftgames35 days ago(+2)

No problem, and same to you Lukas. Hope things improve for you with time, and good to hear from you.

luke182135 days ago(+1)

<3 have a good one man!