Welcome to the struggle of adulting! You’re not alone in shifting focus from “winning” to “doing a thing I thought was neat” - several other seasoned jammers and I have started to do the same thing. It’s much less stressful and a more achievable goal, both of which are better ways of staying in game making when you already have plenty of stressors in your life, in addition to it just being a generally healthier mindset.
I hope you keep making things you think are cool, regardless of how they place!