Dear creator, and the lovely team,
I have never written a love letter to anyone in my life, let alone for a game. However, after having played this game with all 40 endings at last, I feel compelled to write one. It is only fair to do so.
I decided to download this game after seeing it on Instagram (during the countless hours of doom-scrolling, of course), I thought of giving it a go since it's free. Who says no to a free game, especially when it involves a cute little cat? I obviously knew it was a horror game, but just how long will it take me to complete it? I have guts of steel, I obviously would've finished it in a day.
Spoiler alert: I did not finish it in a day. In fact, it took me two nights to finish the game because I started to feel a little unsettled (probably because I played it at night like a dumbass), the repetitive endings and constant blood did not help my case either.
I am not eloquent by any definition, but that does not mean I will not do my darndest to express my love for this game. I've read the other comments and this one in particular might bore you. Mine will be quite the long read. Sorry in advance.
Firstly, I'd like to talk about the art style. It's not a style that is necessarily complex or detailed but it serves the game design absolutely right. Its simplicity is what makes it so eerily beautiful (or beautifully eerie. Either works.). The contrast, the lighting, the gore, the specific amount of details in each jumpscare, the transitions, they're all really well done. My personal favourite was the D O G ending. It made my heart race the fastest, the puppy even made me feel a bit scared in the N/A ending! That's how you know you've done a good job - when you've traumatized the player enough to have your imagery be burnt into the back of their retinas.
Every image must tell a story, and every story is a carefully put together painting. The way the storyline ebbs and flows, each creative ending is insane. However, it did get repetitive after one point and I felt like I was running around in circles (re: ending 23: Feedback loop) but hey, we made it out. The narration does a great job at depicting how utterly despondent we are - after all, the perception of the self does not exist if the perception of us through others has been long lost to the winds of isolation. I will talk more about the ending later; the very thing that prompted me to write this comment is the true ending after all.
The music design excels at immersing the player in the game's environment - personally, I felt like the music was simple (following a set of 4-6 beats in consecutive succession) but that is a part of its charm. The jumpscares and the horror aspect of the game really intrigued me. I don't do well with horror games and I get easily scared. VERY scared. The combination of the art style, the music, the framing and the timing of each second here was great. I was constantly anxious, thanks.
The concept of being trapped in an endless time loop of uncertainties, warping reality into a fabric into an known stream of (un)consciousness is not new, but the execution of it is what makes all the difference. I was as exasperated as the protagonist by the end of each twist and turn. It was exhausting in the exact same way toxic relationships are. It was tiresome having to deal with the cat's boredom, only for me to be its little lab rat - a game for it to enjoy as I slowly let my brain matter turn into mush for its amusement (IT might even call the feeling "love", but I beg to differ).
If I'd played this game ~2-3 years ago, I would've scoffed and tuned it out instantly, "of course the ending goes this way, of course I'd never go back to the 'cat'. Duh." But now... it was healing. I felt myself wanting to make the same decisions as I did with my own personal life even in a game. To my pleasant surprise, I found that there were options for going that route. The N/A ending sequence is on repeat as I type this particular line out - each dialogue from the scene feels like tiny knives right to my heart. Oh, it hurts so beautifully. This is absolutely lovely. I shed physical tears as the ending played out before my eyes. I will definitely have this part on loop for a while now.
Oh, and the best part? The aftermath of the cat. The inability to move on, the shock of the past, the having to go back to the alley to see the cardboard box only for me to have a break down right in front of it, going to all the places in my city only for me to find out the world is bigger than I thought, it is much bigger than the nightmares I was handed and definitely bigger than what was once a cute cat I wanted to take home. The explanation for the feeling of relief is just what I needed right now. I might be getting a little personal here, but after finally cutting out an incredibly toxic 'friendship' where I was abused in every way possible, I felt like feeling relief was not something I'm worthy of. I had hurt the other person "as much as they hurt me", but I know full well it is not the case. Lady Justice does not know how imbalanced the scales are when she believes that her blindfold serves true justice.
This ending in specific will be played over and over again for the next few days, I will be thinking about this game a lot. I will finally be letting myself feel the rage, the grief, the guilt, the shame, the hatred, and most importantly - the relief of letting go. The absolute relief of not going back, the relief of having lived through it to see the light at the end of the alley. What once may seem like the one thing that saves you has the full ability to be the one to demolish you. Your ability to persist and tell a story, be an example to the others stuck in the same cycle is what makes you be a stronger person for yourself more than anyone. No matter how much the other person begs for you to stay, even threatening you with their perishment, they have no control over you. You are what makes them powerful, you are the one they need, they need your power to have power over you.
The very fact that I am still unable to grasp the right words to type into my keyboard that perfectly encapsulates just how much I am in love with this experience of a game.
I am beyond grateful for you to have made this game. I cannot express my thanks enough financially yet, but I hope one day I will be able to support you. You have my utmost gratitude, especially considering you've saved me a lot of money that could've been wasted on therapy. It could never compare to this project.
Thank you once again. I am eternally indebted to you. I hope you continue to make games knowing that you've helped every single one of us who've played this game in some way or the other - be it the way they brace for jumpscares better now, or the way they brace life with a raised head and a heart full of hope.
Sincerely,
Stae.