Sorry for the late response, as I have to gather my thoughts (and life's been a bit too busy). Thanks for the input!
It seems most of the feedback I've received has a pattern, and I might address them in more detail in a post. Hmmm where do I go first...
SPOILERS ALERT
Let's start with the background. The bedroom one is the only one I drew bcs I knew from the beginning how I wanted that scene to unfold. It's just impossible to use stock images. I needed to visually tell the numbness and signs of depression in Mikkel's state of mind. For the one with humans... welp, I packed everything after the scene in the dock just within 5 days, at that point I just had to prioritize other things, including writing. Yes, I wrote a large chunk of the lines directly in Visual Studio... Sure I could add ears to make them less human, but there was just no time to do that without me getting upset trying to make things look perfect lol. The degree of blurriness, though, was intentional, as it reflected how the POV looked at the world.
Next about the genre / POV shift. The true main MC of the story beyond One More Light has always been Mycroft. His gifts are not something flashy, but I want to put into perspective just how ridiculous he can affect someone's course of life. Hence the butterfly and spiderweb metaphor, with the butterfly finally free at the end. That's why I didn't explore the first act too much.
Besides, it has to do with Mikkel's problem. I wanted to portray the depression part as grounded as possible, and isolation was one of its progression. He always saw himself as a burden. There were plans to get Cal more involved in the story but alas the lack of time forced me to scrap it. And about the random bits part in the bedroom. Well, that's the thing about being depressed. You become so numb, you want to feel just a little bit of entertainment, but then the sadness comes in waves out of the tiniest thing (Mikkel reading something about drowning).
Speaking of randomness, Mycroft appearing out of nowhere was the thematic thing I base the story on, "life is random". The whole story started simply because of a last-minute, kind gesture by Mycroft who took pity upon a random stranger. That, and his hatred of how the world seemed unfair in his eyes. But, unknown even to himself, the antagonist was coincidently nearby when Mycroft used his gift. Admittedly, I might have a critical mistake by not putting more emphasis that Mycroft not only has precognition, but also retrocognition, hence his "playing god" attitude.
Maybe I could make everything more smooth, but yeah, time got in the way. And writing is my weakest skill. For a project that started and wrapped in just one month, with ~10k words, and developed solo, I'm quite happy that I managed tell this much of a story. But for the next one? I'll definitely take notes from all the input I get.