i think the endencounter problem during sex might stem from not asking about/know there fetishes before actions related to them i.e not talking to them about facials or cumguzling before BJ's
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That was actually due to it using an old sexuality system that I'd played with and replaced with the current one (KinseyScale + Fetishes). All fetish actions should still trigger whether known or not. During the expanded fetishes stage, that will also include a "discovering them" aspect.
Thanks for giving me the detail you did! It helped me identify the issue easily!