Since completing Heatwave with my partner every so often i'll be sitting with them or any of the collection of  freaks that i have already cognitohazarded into Heatwave knowledge and be asked "hey fluff, you're awfully silent, are you okay?" and i'll respond: "no, im having Heatwave thoughts" and its pretty much accepted that i dont need intervention but that i am in some amount of emotional pain coupled and if you talk to me right now it will probably be about toxic queer dynamics, abuse fetisihisim, or things im putting together about my own experiences with....various types of pain and dehumnization?

When i'm having "Heatwave thoughts" and im alone its bittersweet but very engaging. Sometimes i'll be rolling around a marble of my own memory inbetween my paws and an look at it...distorting it thru the distortion of a Heatwave to be able to make more sense of it. its like reading something written backwards with a mirror. it makes so much more sense now. I map it out; the shape of my own pain, and the shape of the person i became under the weight of not being considered a person. Heatwave, and art like it are something i used to only come once in a lifetime. something that speaks to the heart of something (for me) that brands me. Some kinds of art touch in a soft way and leave kisses on your cheeks and the rosey heat of their affection stays with you despite the lasting evidence disapearring  rapidly...

But other art leaves scars, leaves brusises. brings blood rushing to attention, not in a blush but in a burst, the capillaries constricting and dark spots forming in the tissue of ones heart. Finding comfort in pain, in a sort of confrimation that life sucks. and seeing small victories in art like that. in stuff like Heatwave, Omori, Coquttee Dragoon under a broader sense of misery generally is reassuring. Art that seeks to leave brusises are much more reassuring to me for this reason. Its not that its more valid than stories that position adverstiy or the faults of soceity as things to be overcome. Its that sturctures of oppression and dehumanization being defeated feels kind of on the same scope as killing god in rpgs. 

Heatwave's lore suggests a scope of a world much beyond what's explored in the text. I wish we didnt live in a media landscape where something with rich lore is expected to pursue expanded material and sequeals to capatlize on how deep the worldbuilding is. My autisitc feverish love for this game compels me to want more to chew on, espcially in how the society and technology(?) work. But given it can be read as a capatilist realist dystopia I think i can fill in the blanks well enough. Plus reading some Mark Fisher would probably give me plenty of insight. Afterall Heatwave exists in a web of contexts.

Not least of those contexts is house of leaves. The labrithine nature of Heatwaves, these otherworldly anmolies of bent space time that defy physics, are unbarably hot, and which nothing....living lives within share some resemblence to the aformentioned house of leaves house; which goes on forever, even warping the perception of the person reading about it, in the form of text printed being in a very non traditional format within the novel. The mystery of whatever exists that you need a gun for in a Heatwave is probably the more comparative mystery to the house in house of leaves. The orgin of why the Heatwaves exist isnt quite as tantalizing a concept by comparison.

I love the reinassance of Queer Writers who are total perverts but also put care into the world going on around the naughty bits while also crafting a world I wanna know more about lol. A love of storytelling and a perverted mind is a kick ass combonation. Choosing a visual novel to tell this story has afforded it  a deminsion that enhances what the (albiet great) writing could do alone. Obviouslly music and pictures , and being able to see the two lead character's experssions are all part of that, but the art direction really shaprens Heatwave's tone to a plasma cutter.

I didn't really come to heatwave to get off, but its certainly not hard for it to get me panting. t's made me aware of the Ryona genre and made me eager to explore it in other works. Given my current level of being a weirdo F-word the actual sexual and physical abuse encounters are tame to me. But the emotional,mental anguish and dehumization is where the knife really twists for me. If you see yourself as a prey coded, pet coded, or kid coded sub there is likely something here to make you squirm,But i think your milage may vary. As an Angel Kin this game was personally horrifiing and tummy fluttery. 

sex in this story establishes and explores character, helps illustrate motivations and is just engaging writing. I would like it even if i didint find it mositing my bits. as erotic literature the same tone and word choice that makes the sotry generally a joy(?) to read is also what makes it hot. the prose is filled with sensation evoking words that coat my mouth from tounge to gums when i speak the words (i really encourage reading this out loud).

Proximity to Angel's perspective will likely determine a lot one's take on Heatwave as a hole. I can very much emptize with Angel. And at first it was very uncomfortable. this art made me dig up feelings and experiences i try to look away from, and yet here we are; me feeding into those same feelings even more. by writing about it. sometimes life is like a heatwave: the best way is to push through and try not to think about it too much. But life isnt just one big heatwave,

 leaning into being dehuminized, fetishizing your own disablity or not having autonomy is tricky and  even knowing the risks and doing it in an informed kink framework  can still lead to fucking yourself up more. But of couse sometimes things are for coping and not thriving, and it seems Angel has never thrived.

the end of this game give me hope but also dread. if this was a fic on AO3 it would be logged under hurt and comfort. and honestly the comfort thats displayed at the end really upended me. i wasnt expecting tenderness, maybe a little longing but thats it. the scope of the narrative lets it end in a very optiomisitc space, but by expectation if there were more to this story i think would invloved even more pain and not as much of a way to perserve the vibes that this work ends with, so i'm torn if i want more from these characters, because their lives will be filled with so much more saddness, and certainly not nearly as much happiness

i've written so much here already and i still could talk about this for a while. I havent talked about Del in general or as a character, sexual coerrsion, null, grooming, speech impediments, genital mutilation, or intellectual disablitles! but i've been sitting here all morning a like a week and a half since i last played it in full and im still wanting to gush. If i dont put a lid on it for now i'll be gabbin all day. There is a lot here to discuss and i wanted this review to not give too much away or summerize the VN to encourge others to experience it.  i'll hopfully come back to correct the typos at least later lol

i actually went over the character count for itch reviews so i guess i'll have to post the expanded version somewhere else
-Scribblebyte