Enjoyed the intro. A lot. Got to the bit where LASTNAME (good last name) comes back from the Bodega and it says, "...looks like your partner was the victim of a..."
REV: Say it! SAY IT!
CYBER
PUNK
COP
KILLER
REV: YESSSS.
OBVIOUSLY the guy whose files appear to be innocent is the killer. Yes, search further and aha, OPEN THOSE COP KILLER FILES oh that's adorable. Okay, move on. Let's look at option three and WOAH. Okay. I am a good detective! Hmm. Well, if I choose to mete out my own brand of justice, then this will be a game called CYBER PUNK COP KILLER about a CYBER PUNK COP KILLER who kills CYBER PUNK COP KILLERs. That's irresistible.
REV: "John BigDog. Heh."
Woo. I liked that. Short, but atmospheric while breezy. Could definitely do with more.
Comments
Enjoyed the intro. A lot. Got to the bit where LASTNAME (good last name) comes back from the Bodega and it says, "...looks like your partner was the victim of a..."
REV: Say it! SAY IT!
CYBER
PUNK
COP
KILLER
REV: YESSSS.
OBVIOUSLY the guy whose files appear to be innocent is the killer. Yes, search further and aha, OPEN THOSE COP KILLER FILES oh that's adorable. Okay, move on. Let's look at option three and WOAH. Okay. I am a good detective! Hmm. Well, if I choose to mete out my own brand of justice, then this will be a game called CYBER PUNK COP KILLER about a CYBER PUNK COP KILLER who kills CYBER PUNK COP KILLERs. That's irresistible.
REV: "John BigDog. Heh."
Woo. I liked that. Short, but atmospheric while breezy. Could definitely do with more.
Agree with Dinosaurs and would add that it's nice that it's short and sweet, and the presentation was cool!
That was a very strong opening! Also you don't need to apologize so much, it's a jam, no one's expecting a Twine War & Peace.